Stout Fuel Stop: 2 min read
Try this plan from Emotional Intelligence 2.0 author Dr. Travis Bradberry to master conflict through assertiveness– a careful balance between passivity and aggression.
❶ Speak up!
Avoiding conflict by never speaking up can be costly to your ability to meet goals. To be assertive, you must actually engage in healthy conflict. Healthy conflict directly and constructively addresses the issue at hand without ignoring or trivializing the needs of either party.
❷ Choose Your Words Carefully
Replace the word “but” with “and” makes conflict more constructive and collaborative.
Using “but” can minimize the value of the other’s person’s supposition. Saying “and” makes the other party feel like you’re working with them, rather than against them.
Don’t speak in absolutes (“You Always” or “You Never.”)
This makes people defensive point out what the other person did that’s a problem for you. Stick to the facts.
Present a hypothetical It shows you’re engaging with the original idea and giving the other party a chance to explain how it might work.
❸ Ask Questions & Offer Solutions
Instead of pointing out flaws, build trust by asking questions to understand fully where the other person is coming from.
When you challenge someone’s idea, also offer a solution or acknowledge that you’re willing to work together to find a fix.
For more on mastering conflict see Jen Groover’s #StoutInsights On Handling Conflict and check out all out more Stout about conflict’s other side- passion!